Harry Potter and the Torchwood Crossover
by Chrissy-Kookla
Summary: Parody of Harry Potter crossed with Torchwood!What happens when Jack and Ianto find themselves in the coridoors of Hogwarts? Read and discover for yourselves! Please enjoy!
1. Hermione, what have you done?

_This story was written by me and my friend at school- she's a massive Torchwood fan and I'm a Harry Potter fanatic...together this is what we came up with! Enjoy!_

-_Chrissy-Tenshi_

Harry casually walked the halls of Hogwarts. Christmas had come and gone and so the enchanted castle was relatively quiet due to the fact that a number of students were home visiting their families. Something was a bit 'off' with the place though. Harry couldn't quite put his finger on it but something strange was happening in the castle…well, stranger than usual…he could feel it.

"Harry!" Cried Hermione who was running towards him with a look of worry crossed over her face. She put her hand on his arm and whispered softly whilst looking down at the ground, "I think I'm pregnant"

She buried her face into his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around her. He then pulled away and looked into her deep brown eyes that were now sparkling with tears.

"Do you know who the father is?"

"It could be Ron's…but I'm not sure…"

"What do you mean, you're not sure?" Harry's voice hardened, he couldn't believe Hermione had been so irresponsible, especially with his best friend.

"Can we not do this here? It's so complicated and I know what you're thinking but please let me explain everything first, okay?" Hermione's voice shook as she spoke and hugged herself as she and Harry walked back to the Gryffindor common room.

As they climbed through the Fat Lady's portrait, Ron ran forward to meet them.

"Harry! Hermione! Guess what?!" He cried gleefully. Hermione, however, did not return the greeting. Keeping her eyes glued to the floor, she pushed past him and ran up to the girls' dormitories.

"What's wrong with her?" asked Ron, scratching his head, "Must be PMS"

"I don't think so…" Harry mumbled under his breath.

"Anyway! Back to what I was telling you…"

"Mate!" Cried Harry, anger suddenly welling up inside him, "How can you be so oblivious? Hermione's upset and all you can do is think about yourself!"

Harry's temper was bubbling close to the surface now, which happened quite often these days. Harry then attempted to move past Ron in order to get to the girls' dormitories but Ron stepped in front of him and held a hand out to his chest to prevent him from going any further.

"I don't know what your problem is these days Harry but just this once listen to what I have to say!" Ron's whisper had a biting tone to it. His sapphire eyes held Harry's emerald eyes in a heat of tension for a moment before sliding to where Hermione had disappeared to a few minutes ago. A pained expression crossed his face.

Harry sighed dejectedly, "I'm sorry Ron, Hermione seemed upset about something and I just wanted to talk to her but when you burst in…"

"Oh" Ron looked down in shame.

**crickets chirping  
**

"Well anyway," Said Ron brightening up, "guess what happened!"

"What?" Harry groaned.

"Well…"

**BAM!**

The portrait had swung open knocking Ron out cold. In stepped a tall dark figure and a smaller figure. Both turned to look at Harry.

"Who the hell are you?"

_TO BE CONTINUED..._


	2. Introducing Jack and Ianto!

Harry and Ron made to grab their wands, jumping into a fighting stance and glaring warily at the two figures making their way into the Gryffindor Common Room.

Guns at the ready, the two figures paused in the entry, noting the boys in their defensive positions, exchanged looks and lowered their weapons slightly.

"Who are you?" The figure in the great coat asked.

"Me? Me!! Who are you??? Bursting in here and waving your muggle guns around!!" Ron cried frantically whilst Harry stood motionless, clearly dumbfounded.

The duo exchanged another glance before nodding in an unspoken agreement.

"We're Torchwood. We're looking for something." The second, shorter figure explained in his Welsh accent.

"Torchwood?" Ron questioned suspiciously, "What the hell is a Torchwood?"

"I think I can explain that, Mr Weasley."

Four heads turned to see Dumbledore standing inside the portrait hole, his magnificent magenta robes billowing around him and his bright blue eyes twinkling behind his half-moon glasses.

"Harry, Ronald, I will explain everything in my office- let allow Jack and Ianto to search Gryffindor Tower in peace."

***

"So you're telling us that those guys are here because of those attacks in the muggle world?"

"That is correct, Harry."

"And you've given them permission to search through our stuff?" Ron asked the headmaster worriedly, glancing at Harry. Both were praying that they wouldn't come across Harry's invisibility cloak or Maurauder's Map.

"No boys, your possessions are safe; they are of no concern to Mr Harkness and Mr Jones, for they are searching for traces of something that is of no concern to you," Dumbledore informed, giving Harry and Ron a pointed look over his half-moon glasses, "I would suggest that it would be best if you let them finish their job as quickly as possible." Harry and Ron quickly agreed with their headmaster, assuring him that they would let the two operatives conduct their search in peace.

As the two young wizards exited Dumbledore's office, Ron turned to Harry and enquired, "We really aren't going to leave them to it are we?"

"No, whatever they're searching for has to be important and if it ends up in the wrong hands…" Harry trailed off and determinedly looked into the distance as Ron paled, thoughts of gigantic evil robot spiders entering his mind.

***

Whilst Harry and Ron made their way back to the common room, Jack and Ianto moved their search toward the dormitories, the signal they were following growing stronger. They soon discovered, however, that their search would not be as peaceful as it had been so far when they encountered a teenage girl weeping on her bed.

Ianto approached the bushy-haired witch cautiously, "Um…are you okay?"

Hermione gasped and jumped up in a defensive stance, cursing silently to herself that she had stored her wand in her bedside table.

"Wh-who are you?" She stammered, fear filling her hazel eyes.

"We're Torchwood" Jack declared nonchalantly.

"I'm Ianto Jones and this is Jack Harkness," Ianto paused, "are you alright?"

Jack sighed, "We really need to get back to our searching…"

Ianto glared at him, "Can't you see she's upset? We should at least see if she's okay."

"Yes but we _are_ on a mission."

"I know, but-"

"Um, I am still here," Hermione quipped sounding slightly annoyed that her privacy had been invaded, "How did you two get up here anyway?"

Ianto and Jack stared at her for a moment, "We came up the stairs," Jack stated, narrowing his eyes in confusion.

"How else would we get up here?"Ianto asked, intrigued.

"This is the girls' dormitory," Hermione stated matter-of-factly, realising that the two must not be familiar with the castle, "The stairs are charmed to turn into a slide if boys attempt to climb them."

"We're not interested in school girls."Jack clarified wryly, as the device in his hand began to chirp insistently…


End file.
